another complication

why won't they just let me be great? after everything from the previous post about the uncle and the nephew i thought things would slow down. but now there's a new complication, that could all just be in my head. but i don't think it is. but there's this guy...

lets call him T. no, lets be a little more creative. lets call him PHONE HOME or PH. i went to high school with PH. i met him my freshman year in honors physical science. i walked in the classroom on the first day and there he was. sitting alone in a desk across the room. he was an unusual face. had never seen him before in my life, but i sat by him anyway. K walked in next and she joined us.

PH was a grade above me and K and had just moved here from Florida. he was a cool guy. he was smart. he was funny. and i always called him a poor man's version of me. for the simple fact that he was black, smart, and funny. and in my hometown not many guys fit the bill for that. but we all got along perfectly. i think he picked up on the fact that i was still catching feelings for K. and the fact that we constantly flirted and felt on each other didn't discourage that, but i could also tell that he liked K--there are just things i know. and this was one of them--but even with this knowledge me and K still felt he could be gay. he was skinny and lanky. and he just had these moments where he was a little suspect. so we always assumed that maybe he was gay. which is funny now that K is out and i'm here on southern inebriation and intoxicated resonace(shameless plug) typing about my life.

to this day i still don't know how it happened or when it happened, but PH and K ended up hooking up and becoming official. it kinda shocked me, because one day she was dating this guy and then the next she's fucking PH. the details of their relationship is still fuzzy to this day, but one thing is certain. PH is both the beginning and the end of me and K. it began the hot and heavy phase of me and K's relationship, but it was also the end of that emotional connection we had had since sixth grade. nobody came out of this relationship unscarred. i lost a best friend. K lost a soul mate. and PH lost something, i don't know we kinda stopped talking during this. besides the snide "thats why i'm fuckin yo girl" comment we would trade back and forth we didn't speak to each other unless K made us.

the one thing i know for certain is PH is the only guy K has ever loved. she loves me, but not the way i loved her or she loves him. whatever they had was special. i've seen K in relationships before and she never gave her all. she was in most of them for one reason, and it wasn't love. but with PH it was different. she loved him, and when they broke up i don't think she ever healed. we were talking a few days ago about how much everything is changing and how shit was so much simpler when we were younger and she admitted to me that she still loves PH.

problem is PH has a girlfriend now. and i think he just hit on me.

currently listening to You Could Be Happy by Snow Patrol