Having one of those moments again.
I just need everything in my life to just come a complete stop so I can actually get a sense of where I'm headed. I feel like I'm being pulled in so many directions and I have so much to do. I really can't think clearly and there's so much goin on with me emotionally right now that things are just becoming a little too much.
I keep myself busy so I don't have to think about any of it, but its that down time that gets me everytime. Like right now, I swear the world is spinning, but that may be due to that fact that I'm dizzy right now. The shit that is goin through in my head right now is so simple, yet so stupid, and crazy that the one person I could tell it to I can't because a lot of it revolves around the person.
And if I did they wouldn't understand, because they don't see things the way I do so if I was to tell the person they would listen, but in the back of their mind I know they wouldn't understand. Because the person is not built like I am. The person revolves around logic and puts up walls and I'm the complete opposite.
I'm built on emotions and instincts and I let everyone in. I don't need a reason, I just do and I get attatched. So maybe thats my problem. They say people with big hears get hurt easily. So maybe I should start being more like that person. Which will never happen cause I like how I operate. My instincts have gotten me this far, and yeah I've taken a hard road to get here, but it made me that far.
But damn, I'm so tired of having all these things fall in place and coming to a point where I'm just so confused and so drained that I don't know which way is up.
currently listening to:Piano Lessons-Colin Munroe
I just need everything in my life to just come a complete stop so I can actually get a sense of where I'm headed. I feel like I'm being pulled in so many directions and I have so much to do. I really can't think clearly and there's so much goin on with me emotionally right now that things are just becoming a little too much.
I keep myself busy so I don't have to think about any of it, but its that down time that gets me everytime. Like right now, I swear the world is spinning, but that may be due to that fact that I'm dizzy right now. The shit that is goin through in my head right now is so simple, yet so stupid, and crazy that the one person I could tell it to I can't because a lot of it revolves around the person.
And if I did they wouldn't understand, because they don't see things the way I do so if I was to tell the person they would listen, but in the back of their mind I know they wouldn't understand. Because the person is not built like I am. The person revolves around logic and puts up walls and I'm the complete opposite.
I'm built on emotions and instincts and I let everyone in. I don't need a reason, I just do and I get attatched. So maybe thats my problem. They say people with big hears get hurt easily. So maybe I should start being more like that person. Which will never happen cause I like how I operate. My instincts have gotten me this far, and yeah I've taken a hard road to get here, but it made me that far.
But damn, I'm so tired of having all these things fall in place and coming to a point where I'm just so confused and so drained that I don't know which way is up.
currently listening to:Piano Lessons-Colin Munroe
3 comments:
I totally know how that must feel. Especially the part about wanting the world to slow down and stop spinning. The world did slow a bit today, and it was wonderful. ^_^
Hopefully the world will slow for you a bit too soon.
isnt it ironic that in my last comment i talked about you being too nice and letting ppl in too easily.
anyways you know i am here if ever for whatever and try to make ppl earn your good graces. too whom much is given much is expected and maybe you give too much expecting the same when in reality it doesnt work that way!
life sucks and not in the good way! that's why you have to keep looking out for you. remember what you told me the world revolves around you; so make it so!
be safe!
until
i think its the opposite of what youre saying. and its kinda confusing to explain, but i can try.
i have friends and then there are people i label as my best friend, whether they want the label or not. and when i do that i put them up on a pedestal. they're are certain things i expect and certain things in my eyes they would never do. like lets say hook up with a random person. i would frown upon that if they told me they did it, because i have higher standards for them than myself.
which doesnt say anything about them, but something about me. i guess the people i label as my best friend all have qualities i wish i posessed myself. and when they do something to tarnish that quality that i long for, I guess im a little disappointed in them cause thenin my book its like.
hey, if they did it then what hope do i have of not doing it, when they couldnt resist the temptation.
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