This post may or may not be a long one. There's so much I need to put in it, but I don't wanna bore anyone. So lets start with the smaller things. New layout. Hope you guys like it. Its probably gonna change in a few days so enjoy it while you can. Each of the images symbolizes something about me. Anyone care to guess what they are, some are more obvious than others.
I wanna say thanks to all the guys that have contacted me through instant messengers and everyone who follows my blog or visits it once in a blue moon. I really appreciate it. You guys keep me sane and I appreciate it more than some of you guys could ever understand. Now to the post.
This blog was suppose to be about my dislike of the idea of Black History Month, but I don't wanna go that route anymore. I had this long post about how when I was younger I loved the idea of it, but as I got older it seemed to fade away from my school curriculum and didn't seem important anymore. It seemed more like a joke especially when my television screen suddenly became full of McDonald's 365 Black ads, and VH1 and BET celebrate black music commercials all of a sudden, but it is what it is. So why complain.
Then there was this post I was going to post about cheating. I finally talked to K after another one of our two weeks hiatuses that we've been prone to have since coming to college, and she tells me she cheated on her girlfriend/fiance, but it didn't mean anything and two minutes after they were done fucking her girlfriend called her and asked if she cheated on her. Coincidence, maybe.
So that led me to start thinking, why do people cheat, especially when they say their in love. I've been on both sides of the fence, but have always been faithful. Oxymoron, maybe. K has cheated on me, K has cheated on her boyfriends with me, and I've cheated on K. But I don't think I was ever in the wrong. The whole time me and K were in a relationship I was still having sex with A, the guy who took my virginity, so in my mind as long as I wasn't doing anything with another girl then technically I wasn't cheating. Its a loop whole in my morality programming. Sorry, but I'm not perfect.
So why do people cheat and then say it meant nothing. If you're in "love" then you shouldn't stray away from the one you love. So what is it about this other person that makes you go out and have sex with them. Is it the color of their eyes or maybe the car they drive? Or maybe you're one of those people who believe man is not a monogamous creature, its just not in our DNA. Which I guess I can see your point. I mean look at all the animals in the world. How many are monogamous? Swans, yes. Giraffes, not really plus they're bisexual and have black tongues. So why do we cheat?
But the real reason for this post is the fact that I did something I probably shouldn't have. I had sex with Redcoat earlier today. It wasn't planned it just kinda, sorta happened. After deciding to end whatever I had with him our friendship kinda deteriorated. But for some reason we started back talking today on yahoo. He said his roommates were out and I should come over. And so I foolishly did. I mean we were friends for about three months before I ended things.
So I left my room, and walked over to his place. We started talking, watched a movie, and he asked me what exactly made me end whatever it was we had going on. I sat there looking at him for a moment and laid most of my cards out on the table. Somewhere in my brief monologue his tongue ended up down my throat. Shirts came off, pants soon followed, and my boxers landed beside his Aussiebum underwear on the floor. We were both completely naked besides my socks and the condom I quickly placed on his guy. 15 minutes later my face and mouth were covered in his guys and we laid there holding each other. I was in complete bliss until I heard him whisper into my ear "I LOVE YOU."
Damn, he ruined the mood and I began wondering what did I just walk into. I don't think I've ever had a guy tell me he loves me and actually mean it. And we all know how easily I through out the "l" word, but at least I didn't say it back. What I would have given to have heard those words a few weeks ago. But I'm in a different place now. Love will have to wait just a little longer.
And last but not least I think I have to steal an idea from a blog I just discovered. Its called Words In Motion. The guy is 22, he's in med school, and he's only three posts in. So go check him out, show him some love, and tell him J sent you.
currently listening to: Prom Queen-Lil Wayne & Long Distance-Brandy
Don't judge me on this one. I'm not a Lil Wayne stan or anything, but I surprisingly like this song. I saw his live performance of it and I don't understand why people thought it was so bad. I thought he killed it and thats why I'm currently listening to it on my iPod, cause I only fucks with the best of the best.
Im going to sleep now.
Look I even found this nifty clip. And yes I said nifty cause I fucks with people who say nifty.
I wanna say thanks to all the guys that have contacted me through instant messengers and everyone who follows my blog or visits it once in a blue moon. I really appreciate it. You guys keep me sane and I appreciate it more than some of you guys could ever understand. Now to the post.
This blog was suppose to be about my dislike of the idea of Black History Month, but I don't wanna go that route anymore. I had this long post about how when I was younger I loved the idea of it, but as I got older it seemed to fade away from my school curriculum and didn't seem important anymore. It seemed more like a joke especially when my television screen suddenly became full of McDonald's 365 Black ads, and VH1 and BET celebrate black music commercials all of a sudden, but it is what it is. So why complain.
Then there was this post I was going to post about cheating. I finally talked to K after another one of our two weeks hiatuses that we've been prone to have since coming to college, and she tells me she cheated on her girlfriend/fiance, but it didn't mean anything and two minutes after they were done fucking her girlfriend called her and asked if she cheated on her. Coincidence, maybe.
So that led me to start thinking, why do people cheat, especially when they say their in love. I've been on both sides of the fence, but have always been faithful. Oxymoron, maybe. K has cheated on me, K has cheated on her boyfriends with me, and I've cheated on K. But I don't think I was ever in the wrong. The whole time me and K were in a relationship I was still having sex with A, the guy who took my virginity, so in my mind as long as I wasn't doing anything with another girl then technically I wasn't cheating. Its a loop whole in my morality programming. Sorry, but I'm not perfect.
So why do people cheat and then say it meant nothing. If you're in "love" then you shouldn't stray away from the one you love. So what is it about this other person that makes you go out and have sex with them. Is it the color of their eyes or maybe the car they drive? Or maybe you're one of those people who believe man is not a monogamous creature, its just not in our DNA. Which I guess I can see your point. I mean look at all the animals in the world. How many are monogamous? Swans, yes. Giraffes, not really plus they're bisexual and have black tongues. So why do we cheat?
But the real reason for this post is the fact that I did something I probably shouldn't have. I had sex with Redcoat earlier today. It wasn't planned it just kinda, sorta happened. After deciding to end whatever I had with him our friendship kinda deteriorated. But for some reason we started back talking today on yahoo. He said his roommates were out and I should come over. And so I foolishly did. I mean we were friends for about three months before I ended things.
So I left my room, and walked over to his place. We started talking, watched a movie, and he asked me what exactly made me end whatever it was we had going on. I sat there looking at him for a moment and laid most of my cards out on the table. Somewhere in my brief monologue his tongue ended up down my throat. Shirts came off, pants soon followed, and my boxers landed beside his Aussiebum underwear on the floor. We were both completely naked besides my socks and the condom I quickly placed on his guy. 15 minutes later my face and mouth were covered in his guys and we laid there holding each other. I was in complete bliss until I heard him whisper into my ear "I LOVE YOU."
Damn, he ruined the mood and I began wondering what did I just walk into. I don't think I've ever had a guy tell me he loves me and actually mean it. And we all know how easily I through out the "l" word, but at least I didn't say it back. What I would have given to have heard those words a few weeks ago. But I'm in a different place now. Love will have to wait just a little longer.
And last but not least I think I have to steal an idea from a blog I just discovered. Its called Words In Motion. The guy is 22, he's in med school, and he's only three posts in. So go check him out, show him some love, and tell him J sent you.
currently listening to: Prom Queen-Lil Wayne & Long Distance-Brandy
Don't judge me on this one. I'm not a Lil Wayne stan or anything, but I surprisingly like this song. I saw his live performance of it and I don't understand why people thought it was so bad. I thought he killed it and thats why I'm currently listening to it on my iPod, cause I only fucks with the best of the best.
Im going to sleep now.
Look I even found this nifty clip. And yes I said nifty cause I fucks with people who say nifty.
4 comments:
Like the layout - the colours work well for me, though I am not keen on the typeface. Picky!
Impressed at your research into the anatomy of the giraffe - black tongue eh?
Aussiebum undies - marry him - he obviously has good taste - and money!
The love thing? Well, I just don't know anymore - maybe I never knew!
Thanks for the link.
The objects in your banner are (left to right):
Party balloons
A piercing thief at work
A liquor store that's out of stock
Bette Midler's eyebrow pencils
'Karaoke for Conductors' Starter kit
Fish expert demonstrating how ostamus placostamus attaches itself to the glass in your aquarium
Me in the library, with no glasses, as usual
I know all these are right, and claim my prize - being a long weekend in Tblisi with the man of my choice.
if only it were that easy XD, but unfortunately none of those items were correct but i love the creativity
we'll i'd give anything to hear an "I love you." Especially if I liked the person. 'Cause it seems like you did like this person. But like you said, it's not the convenient thing to do/feel at the moment since you are considering moving and your mind isn't in it as it used to.
youre absolutely right, if my circumstances were different at the moment then i probably would had said it right back without hesitation and we would be living in marital bliss right now, but they arent.
so oh well
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