yellow t-shirt

the yellow t-shirt is an actual yellow t-shirt. the front says "a time for change, 94.304" while the back says "celebrating failure while reaching for excellence." i made the shirt with my three closest friends: K, D, and Lush. K is my best friend and my ex, D is my racist friend who knows how to cook, and Lush is my ex enemy that drinks too much. somehow after many years of not liking one another other, senior year somehow brought us together.

school has always been easy for me. i never had to try and never had to study. things just kinda worked out for the best. high school came around and things continued that way. i did well enough to be considered "smart" and they put me on the honors/AP track. i remained in the top ten of my class and just sailed through.

the first two years of high school were weird for me. this was during my emo/rebellious phase and i just didn't have any motivation. in my mind, life was predetermined and as long as i made more good decisions than bad decisions things would work out for the best. i didn't try to get anything i wanted, i just let it come to me and if it didn't then meh. life goes on. this was also during the time when i lost my virginity to A, while still being madly in love with K, so neither of these things helped my outlook on life. but spring semester of sophomore year things started looking up.

i got my first job and i took my first chemistry class. chemistry was like every other class i had taken up to that point, but there was one difference. i loved the teacher. i've had teachers in the past that i grew attached to, but there was just something about this one. maybe it was the fact that she smelled of coffee or the fact that she had a pair of glasses to color coordinate with everything she wore. or maybe it was the fact that i was her favorite--something she wasn't shy about sharing.

but for whatever reason she changed my outlook on a lot of things. she always had an opinion on EVERYTHING, but i always listened to what she had to say. i even listened to her when she gave me my "you're a black man and the world is your oyster speech¹." and when we made it to stoichiometry things just started clicking. the only way i can describe it is that i had a moment of clarity, like a light bulb finally came on in my head and i finally said to myself "DAMN, I CAN REALLY DO THIS" and from that moment i knew what i wanted. i wanted to be the salutatorian² of my graduating class and i knew what i had to do to make this happen.

by this point i was ranked 8^th in my class and i would have to work my ass off to get anywhere near the number two spot, but i did it. by senior year i was ranked number 3 in my class and trailed the number 2 by a tenth of a point. i had the best first semester i ever had receiving three one hundreds and the highest grade in my AP Lit class, a 98, and the second semester was no different. i received four one hundreds, but somehow i still didn't become salutatorian.

not only did i not get my sal spot, but half of the people in all my honors/ap class weren't honor graduates, K, D, and Lush included. so after doing a little investigating³ i found out that our gpas weren't weighted as they were suppose to be, and as a result half of my classmates weren't honor graduates and i lost my sal spot to some doe-eyed girl⁴. i was crushed and reverted back to my freshman self. i gave up on trying, didn't want to be an honor graduate, didn't wanna walk at graduation, i just wanted school to be over with.

this was just a catalyst for the yellow t-shirts, but there were other factors as well.

1. in my town we have two high schools. the one i went to and then this alternative one. its designed to help students catch up on credits so they can graduate on time. basically there's a teacher in a room full of computers and the student uses the computer to learn all the information. you can finish a course in two to three weeks, and there were a few students who took advantage of this situation and as a result, became honor graduates.
2. the seniors at this alternative high schooltraveled across the US, while we weren't allowed to leave the state. they went to new york, to washington d.c., grad night at universal studios, and some montain trip.,
3. we didn't get any senior lunches. the one time we did the group of us who organised it were chastised because we supposedly didn't go through the "proper" channels.
4. a lot of our money we raised from bake sales, the last four years, for a senior trip went "missing" somewhere between or junior and senior year
5. we never received our senior breakfast, but the seniors who failed the graduation test⁵ received one.
   
6. i also wore a shirt that said Lush during a picture taken of the honor graduates for the newspaper. i did it because Lush missed becoming an honor graduate by less than a tenth of a point. a few people took offense at my friendly gesture to include Lush in the picture (someway or another) and because of it i was pulled aside by the counselor to have a deep discussion on where my head was.
7. a few othe rthings happened, but aren't really important
   

so after all of that, Lush, K, and D decided to make these t-shirts. i was just dragged in at the end of it because i was cheated out of my sal spot. plus they kept with the yellow theme of my Lush shirt. so we all wore the yellow t-shirts to school one day and were all sent home that same day, everyone except D. she was on the work program so she left before they could send her home. K was sent home early in the day and around lunch time Lush and I were called to the front office for a meeting with the school officials.

basically in this meeting the school officials yelled at us, called us stupid and selfish, and pointed out how disappointed they were in us because they were deeply offended by the shirts. after their brief yelling match they allowed me and Lush to explain ourselves, but it was like speaking to the deaf. they didn't hear anything we said and we were done we were told to leave school and never wear the shirts again.

so in conclusion the yellow t-shirt is significant to me because its the first time i felt like i was a real man. i stood up for what i believed in and i lived with the consequences of those actions. i also developed a deep bond with D and Lush because of the yellow t-shirts. senior year brought us together, but after the whole yellow t-shirt debacle i felt like i could always count on Lush and D whenever i needed them.

1. i get this speech from all of my honors/ap teachers. basically they pull me aside one day and tell me that if i ever need anything there always there for me. they also make sure to remind me that i can do whatever i want. i usually just nod my head and ask myself why the fuck are they telling me this, because i've heard it a million times before. i also ponder to myself that maybe if they took the time to tell this to one of the other black students that maybe then they wouldn't be so surprised to see me walk in their classroom each time.

2. there was no way in hell i could ever be valedvictorian. the guy who was had been the smartest kid in our grade since second grade. this is also that for some stupid and illogical reason has hated me since the second grade. to say we dislliked each other would be an understatement. its a known fact that we don't get along and he was one of the main reasons that moivated me to do better. we've gotten in a few verbal altercations over the past ten years and in the fifth grade we almost got into a physical fight. he pushed me, i punched him. then we got in trouble before it could escalate.

3. i worked in the guidance office my senior year so i had access to files and computers where they kept the "important" information. but really i just pulled the counselor aside and asked "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED" but as you should know by now, her answer just didn't suffice.
currently listening to Gibberish by Ryan Leslie

4. i use to be friends with this girl. i think i even had a crush on her, but then she got engaged to the valedictorian--the guy i don't like--and as a result we stopped talking and she found religion on me, only pushing us farther away. i was also blatantly told in front of everyone i was not aloud at the wedding. ^_^ she also only took 6 honors/ap classes while i took 16.

5.in georgia you have to past the 5 parts of the graduation test(writing, math, language, science, social studies) to graduate from high school and to walk at graduation. but you get 5 chances to pass it.