realized

Just had a realization, well two actually. One, I use the word realized way too much, just shows how limited my vocabulary is. I find new words and I use them until I forget them. Trachea, jugular, inebriated, eloquent, fruition. All were words of the week, and all have been butchered by me. Anyone have a new word to replace realize, because its a really hard word to spell and I always have to take out the "s" and replace it with a "z" and if you know me I'm just too lazy to be doing that. But I'm really not lazy, just everyone else seems to think I am. *side eye

Two, I've been listening to a lot of sad/breakup type music this week. My first music post was also a breakup song. And then my last one was also. Both songs were about Rick, but it took me a few days to realize this. Blame It On Me, was when I first heard the news and I guess I wanted to beat myself up for it, so I was like fuck it. Blame me. But now I know it wasn't just me, and we both needed this separation.

But things are looking up. Kinda, I'm slowly breaking away from my sad music, but maybe not. I fell asleep to a mix of "Chasing Lights," Maxwell's "Pretty Wings," the Saturdays "Issues," "Blame It On Me," and Ciara's "I Don't Remember" so maybe that wasn't the happiest music, but it was all soothing and I had a great night of sleep. And thanks to S I discovered the Fray. The second album is better than the first in my opinion, but someone says my music taste sucks and is contradictive. So meh.

p.s. spell check is saying contradictive is not a word, so I guess I just created a new word. yay me!

currently listening to:Syndicate-the Fray