Again.
I don't know if what I'm feeling right now is love or the makings of love, but I will say this. The date that me and Redcoat had earlier today was great, but the nightcap was even better. I found myself singing showtunes as I left his place and went back to mine, but I'll save the details for tomorrow when my mind is fresh. This post is more for the conclusion of me and Dummy's relationship and our trip to the bigger city on the coast, where my new "home" is.
I found out Monday that my mom would not be able to pick me up from school until later in the week. But unlike Thanksgiving break I was actually ready to leave school so I found other arrangements. One, either go back with IV to the hometown and stay there for a week or Two, catch a ride with Dummy. I chose the latter of the two and for good reason.
I hadn't talked to Dummy since our final and I really wanted to see where his head was in all of the madness that has been our relationship. So the trip East turned out to be better than I expected. He told me his whole reason for traveling was his plans on asking his long time girlfriend to marry him, and he wanted to do it on Christmas. Therefore he was spending his break with her and her family.
It kinda shocked me, but as I told him I was happy for him, and I even put in my bid to be the best man or at least the ring bearer. Either, or is okay with me, as long as I'm there. He confided in me that after being with me he finally felt like she was the ONE, and he didn't have that monkey on his back wondering if there was anyone out there that was better for him. But even with that he felt that he wanted to give us one more shot.
Basically meaning, "Damn inebriated yo sex was that fi fi shit. Let me hit that again." Yes, I know people that talk like this, but Dummy isn't one of them, but this is what he was thinking. lol.
So even after already having sex earlier in the day I still had enough in me to have goodbye sex with him. But who wouldn't? Goodbye sex and makeup sex is second to only "I'm In Love With You" sex and I haven't had that in a while. So we found a rest stop and went at it in the back of his truck. A new experience for me, but I'm not complaining.
It was fun while it was happening, but my mind kept finding itself thinking about Redcoat in the midst of our fuck session, which led me to the conclusion that I think I'm in love.....again. And its kinda scary. So I did what I always do when I'm scared. Turn on some music and lose myself in it. Today it just happened to be britney's Circus cd and I kept blasting Blur, Unusual You, Quicksand, and Mannequin.
Dummy didn't seem to mind at first and actually seemed to enjoy it, but the moment would only last for so long. He turned the music off and asked me what was on my mind. I told him and he said something that totally caught me off guard.
Just let it play out, if its meant to be then let it be. Don't over analyze it like you do with everything else. Love is natural, it can't be forced. If this is love then you'll know. But don't stress out over it, you're too sexy for that.
I'm going to miss Dummy. He's taught me more about myself than people I've known for my whole life.
I don't know if what I'm feeling right now is love or the makings of love, but I will say this. The date that me and Redcoat had earlier today was great, but the nightcap was even better. I found myself singing showtunes as I left his place and went back to mine, but I'll save the details for tomorrow when my mind is fresh. This post is more for the conclusion of me and Dummy's relationship and our trip to the bigger city on the coast, where my new "home" is.
I found out Monday that my mom would not be able to pick me up from school until later in the week. But unlike Thanksgiving break I was actually ready to leave school so I found other arrangements. One, either go back with IV to the hometown and stay there for a week or Two, catch a ride with Dummy. I chose the latter of the two and for good reason.
I hadn't talked to Dummy since our final and I really wanted to see where his head was in all of the madness that has been our relationship. So the trip East turned out to be better than I expected. He told me his whole reason for traveling was his plans on asking his long time girlfriend to marry him, and he wanted to do it on Christmas. Therefore he was spending his break with her and her family.
It kinda shocked me, but as I told him I was happy for him, and I even put in my bid to be the best man or at least the ring bearer. Either, or is okay with me, as long as I'm there. He confided in me that after being with me he finally felt like she was the ONE, and he didn't have that monkey on his back wondering if there was anyone out there that was better for him. But even with that he felt that he wanted to give us one more shot.
Basically meaning, "Damn inebriated yo sex was that fi fi shit. Let me hit that again." Yes, I know people that talk like this, but Dummy isn't one of them, but this is what he was thinking. lol.
So even after already having sex earlier in the day I still had enough in me to have goodbye sex with him. But who wouldn't? Goodbye sex and makeup sex is second to only "I'm In Love With You" sex and I haven't had that in a while. So we found a rest stop and went at it in the back of his truck. A new experience for me, but I'm not complaining.
It was fun while it was happening, but my mind kept finding itself thinking about Redcoat in the midst of our fuck session, which led me to the conclusion that I think I'm in love.....again. And its kinda scary. So I did what I always do when I'm scared. Turn on some music and lose myself in it. Today it just happened to be britney's Circus cd and I kept blasting Blur, Unusual You, Quicksand, and Mannequin.
Dummy didn't seem to mind at first and actually seemed to enjoy it, but the moment would only last for so long. He turned the music off and asked me what was on my mind. I told him and he said something that totally caught me off guard.
Just let it play out, if its meant to be then let it be. Don't over analyze it like you do with everything else. Love is natural, it can't be forced. If this is love then you'll know. But don't stress out over it, you're too sexy for that.
I'm going to miss Dummy. He's taught me more about myself than people I've known for my whole life.
2 comments:
Goodbye sex, eh? What is that about O.o? I guess if it helped you understand yourself a little better, it isn't too bad.
goodbye sex, yes, cause we can no longer have sex anymore. he's getting married and i'm gonna be the best man, lol.
hell, i'm gonna be the person that wears red to a funeral
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