and then there was death

I wrote this a couple of weeks ago but didn't know what to do with it so here it is.

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Life is such a precious thing that we never really think about too much, at least i don't, but i just received a shocking message. My best friend, k, may be dead. Supposedly she started cutting her wrsit and took a bunch of pills. I'm kinda speechless and can't fall asleep so here i am laying out my sould for the world to see.

K has been going through some things this year and i feel as if the only reason she didn't crack was because i was there to balance out everything. Here's the thing with k, our senior year of high school was tough for everyone. And i guess at our job we had, we started doing things that you shouldn't do. Most of our coworkers were either drug dealers or they smoked, so it shouldn't really be surprising that every now and again we would go along for a right and get high too.

Basically after December of 07 i stopped, she didn't. She moved from one addiction to the next, so that was problem one. Problem two, k, came out to me one night in December while I was at work. I wasn't shocked and it didn't really phase me, it only made me think about the past six years and a lot of things were clarified for me. So now this girl that i had fell in love with was a bisexual, no big deal right?

Wrong, we live in this very small town where you just don't do that. So basically for the rest of the school year we had to keep this under wrap, and i guess after we graduated they went buck wild. Her girlfriend was already pregnant so that just added to all the issues she was already going through. But when her grandmother found out I guess that just flipped her world upside down. She was kicked out and shortly after graduation moved to Atlanta with her mom.

On top of all of that k had always been a Clark Atlanta panther at heart. I couldn't count the days when she would tell me she was going to CAU or cow as i called it on a daily basis. Unfortunately CAU is a private school and tuition is 39,000 and since she didn't get hope (another long story for another short day) there was no way she could attend the school of her dream.So she was forced to go to Fort Valley State University which smells like crazy in the old dorms.

So with all of this crushing her down can I say I'm surprised that she tried to kill herself. No I can't say I am. This isn't the first time she's cut herself. K was a cutter throughout middle school, and during our brief relationship even showed up with a cut shaped into the letter of my name. So i'm not surprised I'm just shocked that it came to this, and will probably be sitting here for a while thinking. What can i do all the way in Athens.