died.

so this blog is basically over.. its full of nonsense and shit that should have never been told. i met a bunch of people. fell in love with some of them. and now i wish some would just disappear. abracadabra. yeah, they're still here. but i'm not. so this is goodbye, but you can always catch me at my other blog be.kind.cali. theres nothing there but there will be eventually. its all about the new respectable j that mister jace young III made me into these last 8 months. but yeah.

be.kind.cali.

be there before the adventure starts.

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these questions comes from robby over at overrated integrity.

How do you define liberty?

liberty is probably a word i've only used in school. it may even be apart of the pledge, but i'm not sure since i haven't said it since graduation. i'm not even sure what the word really means. to me it's just a character on degrassi, something you've probably never heard of. so i took the time to look up the word just to see how webster defines it which basically comes to the condition of being free from restrcition or control. which basically means liberty does not exist. there's no way possible liberty could exist in the modern world, if it did the world would cease to exist. there would be chaos and mass hysteria. so i can't define liberty because i don't think liberty exists.

What purpose do emotional connections have?

i think the only purpose of emotional connections is to make us feel human. to feel like we matter and we're a part of something. they help us feel important. feel needed. they just help us feel. if i didn't have any emotional connections then i don't think life would be worth living. why live if you there's no point. i think these emotional connections give us a reason to live.

Are you an individual archetype, or just a collection of thoughts and impulses?

i'm just a collection of thoughts and impulses. i find myself thinking a lot. 70 percent of the time that's what i'm doing. just thinking. and most of the time its about very random things or about things i can't control. and the other 30 percent of the time its me acting out on these impulses, which inturn makes me think even more. because the impulses are usually not good impulses. i never get the impulse to just clean my room or read a book. its always something like that i shouldn't be doing.

Which is better, pure reason, or conceptual understanding?

conceptual understanding is better at least i think so. you can have a great reason to do something, but if no one understands why you did it then there really wasn't a point to do it. and if it goes horribly wrong then how can we know how to stop it the next time or fix it.

Why do people, in spite of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, still cling to the bronze age belief in god?

i think its quite simple and obvious while people still believe in "the bronze age" belief in god. and it comes down to three simple thins. they believe, they fear, or they do as they're told. those who bellieve, do just that. they truly believe that god is real and thats all that matters. all the evidence in the world could say that god isn't real, but it wouldn't matter because they just believe. they have faith. then there are those who fear. the fear that there's a chance that god could actually exist, so if they don't believe they fear what may happen at the last judgement. and then there are those who just do as they're told. they were brought up with the belief that god is real, so they believe that. whether they truly believe he's real or not doesn't matter. they were taught to believe so they continue believing it.

How would the world change if we discovered the existence of an intelligent extraterrestrial civilization?

i think earth would implode. i'm pretty sure we would try to attack the extraterrestrial for fear they're gonna attack us and wipe us off first. they're will probably be a wave of suicides and many will say that the end of days are near. but personally, i would be excited about it. i think its stupid for us to think we're the only lifeform in the universe.

Does reality exist apart from your perception of it or is reality defined by your perception?

i think reality is defined by your own perception. cause in my reality god is real but in yours god is just a fictional character. i think people have a standard for what everyones reality should be like and if yours doesn't agree with it then there's something wrong with you. i think everyones reality is slighty different and is shaped by life expriences.

Define good and evil.

i don't think there's a thing as good and evil. there's no one who is truly evil and there is no one that is truly evil. they're just labels people use sometimes. i think the world is just a huge grey area.

Define thought.

thought is the act of thinking.

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yay more answers. robby yours are up next, then the rest of aeks and windy's and then there's a few questions that will get their own posts. thats how epic they are. i also have a few of shots i don't have answered also. and after reading through these i didn't answer two of mark's, so if you have any other questions i'd be glad to answer them.

Do you ever want to travel out of the country?

yes i want to travel around the world. if i could find someone who would pay for it then i would never stay in one place. i'm actually thinking about joing the peace corps or something similar when i finish with school.

If so then where are your 5 fave countries?

i wouldn't say these are my favorite five countries but these are the places i want to go to the most. i've always wanted to go to alasksa, but only during one of those 30 days of night periods. i really want to travel to Uganda one day also. its not one of the places you would call beautiful or that you hear about, but its somewhere i feel i need to visit one day and thats thanks to my participation in the invisible children organization. i would love to go to Australia or New Zealand and then somewhere in Asia like Vietnam or Malaysia.

If you could which language would you like to learn most?

i really wanna learn some more sign language. i know the basics and i know the alphabet so i think i'll try and teach myself some more. i'm trying to learn spanish at the moment also. my portuguese sucks but i can hold a decent conversation. so to answer the question i'd go with hmong. i have no clue when i would use it, but yeah. hmong.

Would you consider putting yourself on youtube? Not necessarily dancing just like documenting yourself or something.

yeah, i'm seriously thinking about doing that and slowly moving away from the blog format. maybe document my move from georgia to cali. so i'm pretty sure that i will ut myself and maybe a few of you on youtube one day.

What food would you say you regret eating (knowing you none). If not what's the nastiest thing you've ever tasted?

the nastiest thing i've ever eaten is brocoli. but the one thing i regret eating was the grape juice that turned out to be chocolate milk. the "how" is a longer and embarassing story but that one small carton of choclate milk is the reason i don't like chocolate today. i was traumatized as a child and now i don't eat chocolate.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years? (fuckin hardest question ever)

yes it is, and i'm going to make it into a post of its on because i have a few similar questions.

What have you always wanted to learn but never got the chance to?

how to play the guitar and how to draw the perfect eye. i suck at eyes but i'm even worse at noses. i also want to learn how to DJ one day. thats another one of those long lists of hings i wanna be one day.

What X-men power would you want most? (Must actually name the X-man/Marvel character or you can go DC on me.)

DC sucks ass. i don't read their comics. i don't wwatch their shows. i'm a Marvel fan born and bred. and i'm gonna have to go with Rogue. she's always been my favorite X-Men and she now has her powers under control. what more could you ask for?

The Saturday's or Girls Aloud? (Don't answer this.)

how do you ask a question and then say don't answer it. yes my answer is pretty obvious, but i think only two people know how i would answer this. you and shots. so for those who don't know its all about the Saturdays. if you like great pop music then i would definately check out their debut album "Chasing Lights" its one of my favorites.

What's your favorite article of clothing?

it would have to be either athletic shorts or jogging pants. they're just really comfortable and i just feel good when i'm wearing them. i also think the sxiest thing a man could wear is jogging pants.

Do you have a childhood habit that you should have gotten rid of but haven't i.e. sucking your thumb, or carrying a blanky.

i was never a thumb sucker. i never carried a blanket. though my little brother has one and it goes wherever he goes and he's 14 now. so i don't think i have a childhood habit, atleast not one that i remember or one that would be considered bad.

What's the most 10 most played song on you iPod currently?

i actually have a last.fm account that you can look at to see all of my listening habits, but the most played songs on my ipod for the last 3 months are:

• Blame It On Me by Chrisette Michele
• When Love Takes Over by David Guetta ft. Kelly Rowland
• Make Love by Keri Hilson
• Gibberish by Ryan Leslie
• Like a Surgeon by Ciara
• Everytime by Britney Spears
• Pretty Wings by Maxwell
• First Love by Adele
• Papparazzi by Lady GaGa
• So Good by Day26

3 movies you've never seen but still want to.

fuck this is really hard cause i'm a movie buff and i want to say some classic films that people can go oooh and awww about but nothing is coming to mind. i wish i could say Fight Club but after you suggested it a few months ago i downloaded it, and its one of my favorites now. so i guess i'll go with Inglorius Bastards because i love anything Tarantino and he's the reason i want to become a director. the Veronica Mars movie because i love Kristen Bell and thats one of my favorite tv shows of all time. and lets go with Iron Man 2 or Spiderman 4, because i feel like these three movies basically sum me up as a person. Tarantino, Veronica Mars, and comic books. thats basically me.

How important is sex to you in a relationship? Will it make or break it?

this is a tough one. i've never been in a relationship without sex. all of my relationships started with sex and evolved into something more, but sex doesn't make or break a relationship for me. if i don't have that emotional connection then there will come a point where i'll get bored and will probbaly just stop having sex with the said person.

J. Lo's ass or Kim Kardashian's?

j.lo doesn't have an ass anymore. and i don't understand the whole obsession with kim kardashian. i'd take khloe anyday, she actually has a personality. but for the sake of the question i'd take jennifer lopez with or without the booty.

3 must see shows or one's that you're really into.

i'll just go with shows that are currently on tv or will be in the foll. i love anything joss whedon does and if you haven't seen Dollhouse on Fox then you're missing out on great television. i'm also a die hard Heroes fan. i've stuck with it since day one, and its gotten good again. and since i'm a reality tv buff i'm gonna have to say Tiny & Toya. i'm sure mark is the only person who reads this blog that knows what i'm talking about. but foreveryone else just turn to BET on Tuesday's at 9.

What would be your favorite weather conditions? The type that you go out and say it's a beautiful day.

i'm sure a lot of people will read this and be like "what a weird kid he is" but the perfect weather conditions for me would be a rainy day. i'm an aquarius and i love water. i'm afraid of big puddles of water like pools and oceans, but i love rain. a stormy day is one of the most beautiful things in the world to me. its just so calming if you just take the time to appreciate it. plus i grew up in the country and i like to run barefoot in the rain.

If you could choose a desk job or school which would you choose?

i don't think i've ever told anybody this online or even thought about talking about this. but i've always wanted to be a math teacher. i love math with a passion. and thought seriously about becoming a math teacher when i got my scholarship because it would allow me to go and get my doctorate or doctoral degree in education. so i would definately choose a job at a school over a desk job. even though i would be a dope secretary.

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my cousin knows i'm gay. i kinda figured she did after she kept stealing my phone which had some questionable photos. no penises, i deleted all of those, but a few topless guys could be found on my phone. damn that asian blogger and his need to show off.

but either way she knows. and i figured she knew a while back and i know my family. they're the type to hold onto information until they see a chance to use it and hurt you the most. and thats what my cousin is doing. but she confirmed the fact she knew i was gay yesterday during an argument we were having. so now i'm preparing for my life to self destruct in three

two

one

either way i'm okay. she knows i'm gay. oh well. i'm MUTHAFUCKIN J. and i know things. things she doesn't know. things she doesn't want to know. tings that will fuck with her mind. but yeah, i guess my secrets out.

currently listening to Song and Cry by Jaydiohead

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i did a post earlier, but i'm bored now and figured i could knock out a few more questions. the first few were a little more sexually oriented and i figured i should balance that out with some light hearted questions and maybe some thought provoking ones, because i'm not all about sex. i haven't had sex in thirty days so i think someone should buy me a drink to celebrate(i don't drink but i love mountain dew).

from shots

if u could be another race would u?

i wouldn't want to be another race. i'm glad i'm black and not the stereotypical one at that. but i wouldn't mind being biracial maybe that mix would make my skin lighter so i could finally get a white ink tattoo.

if the world was gonna end but you could save 5 ppl, who would those 5 be?

i'm gonna assume that i'm not included in these five people that i can save. so i would have probably save

• my mom
• my OB
• britney spears
• taeyang
• the smartest person in the world

i would save my mom because she's my mom. and no matter how much i don't like her i still lover her unconditionally. i would save my OB because i woulld need someone to vent to and someone who can keep me in check. i would save britney spears because she fuckin britney. plus we would have to repopulate the world somehow and she seems to be very fertile. i was torn between her and octomom, but britney won out. taeyang is for the OB, bu ti also like eye candy. and the smartest person in the world for the simple fact that he/she should know how to restart the world if it should end.

how many kids, boys/girls would u like to have one day?

for some reason i really wanna have eight kids. i don't really care how many boys or girls i have, but i really want eight. J and Jay plus 8 for the win!!!

would u rather lose ur taste buds or loose ur sense of smell?

i would rather lose my sense of smell. life isn't worth living if i can't taste my avorite foods. the sense of smell would be the first thing i would give up. next would be touch, then the ability to hear, then taste, and sight would be last.

if u could be in any movie, wut movie would u be?

i would have to be in some Quentin Tarantino movie. I just love anything he does and he's the reason i decided when i was thirteen that i wanted to become a director one day.

would u be a drag queen for a night and perform for a crowd if u got paid $300?

that seems a little cheap so i would say no.

if u had to get a tattoo, wut would it be of and where would u get it?

i would get the tattoo on my left had wrist. i've said this since i was eleven that i wanted a tattoo on my left hand wrist, but i still don't know what. i've thought about several things and even designed a few pieces and the ones that keep popping up revolve around 11:11 or a film strip of some sort.

meet britney spears and spend a whole day with her or win $5,000?

i thought about this for a long time since i saw you asked the question and i think i would have to spend the day with britney. that day would last longer than the the money.

if u can bring Danity Kane back together would u? and wut would u change about them this time? ex. give one singer more lines or less lines or tell one singer not be such an attention whore

if i could i would definately bring them back together. aubrey is not an attention whore and i don't think she's the reason they broke up. the only thing i would change is the fact that they were signed to bad boy. had they been on any other label they would still be together right now churning out great albums. danity kane was too much of a success to just be disbanded.

currently listening to Sucka 4 Love by Danity Kane

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i'm switching things up for the next few weeks. instead of talking about all the depressing times in my life i'm just gonna answer the questions a few people submitted. after i make the move to cali then i'll go back to the regular format. so if you have any other questions don't be afraid to submit them.

these questions come from windy city

why this stupid ask me a question list?

for the simple fact that my life has been depressing the past few weeks, and my love for blogging has been waning for a few weeks. so this is the easiest way to keep me in the blogging world, but also a way to let people get to know me a little better.

have you ever been paid for sex?

for me the definition of sex is anything with penetration so i wouldn't include oral sex if someone asked me if i had sex. so i've never been paid for sex. but i have been paid to give a guy a blowjob. i didn't ask for the money, but he gave it to me anyway. i think i blogged about it back in december. i never spent the money and i think i ended up giving it to some homeless guy, because i felt dirty and cheap afterwards.

have you ever paid for ssex?

i've never paid for sex. i'm way too cheap to do that.

who's your favorite porn star?

i'm not really big on studio porn but if i had to choose i like diesel washington and a few of the guys from the active duty stuff. mostly cole and damien.

who have you fucked that you won't admit to?

there's only one person that i've had sex with that i will never admit to anyone about. i'm not embarassed that we had sex and i'm not ashamed of the fact either. it was during high school and some of the best sex i've ever had, but to this day i've never told anyone about it.

Have you ever fingered yourself?

i've fingered myself a few times. its one of those rites of passage you have to do at least once in your life as a gay teen. its like riding a bike, if you don't try it then how do you know if you like it or not.

Do you own any sex toys?

i'm embarassed to admit this but i do own one sex toy. i got it late one night when i was coming from wal-mart and i noticed this sex store so i decided to stop in and take a look around. i was kinda disappointed in the sex shop, but that didn't stop me from buying a dildo. so thats my only sex toy, and i've had it for about four or five months now, but i'm embarassed to admit to that. DONT JUDGE ME.

Have you ever eaten your own cum?

i've tasted my cum twice. both times were by accident and unexpected, but it wasn't a bad thing. but i have this mental block that stops me from trying to taste my cum again, something in my mind just won't let me taste it so i don't know what it taste like now. and i guess the same thing can be same about swallowing other guys. i can't remember the last time i swallowed a guy, because i use to be crazy about that.

Have you ever videotaped yourself having sex?

to my knowledge i've been videotaped three times. none of these tapes exist anymore because i destroyed all of them in my attempt to become a respectable young man that my moms and this guy i was crushing on could be proud of. i think i've blogged about one of the times i not all three on the blog, but i'll have to go back and check.

Have you ever had group sex?

i've experienced group sex on several occasions. i don't see anything wrong with it and i've had fun each time i was apart of it. back in high school there were a few threesomes i was aprt of with A and one of his friends, and then there was that one night that ended up being recorded between me, Rick, and the lovely Julio.

i think i'll end the questions here for the moment. if theres anything you want to know just ask, i'll answer them as honestly as i can.

currently listening to Exceptional by JoJo

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when asked the question if you could change anything about yourself what would it be, most people say i would change nothing. i like who i am. its me. and everytime i think to myself why must they lie. the same goes for the question, is there anything in your life you regret. saying no, is a typical answer. yet its usually a lie.

i fall victim to this. we all have at one point in our life. i do it everyday. everyday i wake up and tell myself i'm okay. and for the most part i am, but there are those moments where life is just meaningless. the sun isn't as bright as it usually is. and i just feel blank. empty of emotions with one lingering thought in my head.

if i could change anything about myself or about my life i wouldn't. but truthfully speaking i would change a lot. i would change the fact that i was molested as a child. i would change the fact that i didn't have a father growing up. i would change the fact that i will never be truly honest open with anyone, because they're are just some things i'm afraid to let people i care about know. i would change the fact that i love to easily. i would change the fact that i'm honestly lost in this world, and don't know what i want. i sit and watch television shows and movies where the main character's biggest proble is the fact that his/her family has "a plan" for them. they usually hate this plan and want nothing to do with it, but i envy them. i wish someone had my entire life planned out for me. because for the last nineteen years i've lived a life full of impulses. some good and some bad.

do i regret anything i've done in my life. probably not, but if i did i'd regret everytime i gave into that impulse to drop to me knees. to open my mouth. or to spread my legs.

life sucks sometimes, but you just have to deal with it.

my father told me something once. i was six years old and was crying. he saw the tears roll down my face and started screaming at me as he forcibly took his t-shirt that i was wearing. "real men don't cry J. aint no son of mine gone be a pussy and cry. take my damn shirt off. you aint no marine man, take my damn shirt off boy. you betta learn how to deal with shit cause it aint gone get no better. and aint no son of mine gone run around here and cry. you betta deal with this shit."

currently listening to Smashing Pumpkins

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i'm depressed as fuck. so i'm taking a break. i still need 280 more questions. its the only way to guarantee my return.

see you guys soon

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i need 300 questions. ask me anything. but ask me NOW. if not here then email me please or message me. southern.inebriation@live.com

currently listening to Give It To Me Right by Melanie Fiona